"Prayer is no little thing, no selfish and small matter. It does not concern the petty interests of one person. The littlest prayer broadens out by the will of God till it touches all words, conserves all interests, and enhances man’s greatest wealth, and God’s greatest good. God is so concerned that men pray that He has promised to answer prayer. He has not promised to do something general if we pray, but He has promised to do the very thing for which we pray."
~Edward M. Bounds
I am feeling very desperate.
Just a month ago I had what I felt was the perfect life. Amazing friends that only most people can dream of, a marriage that was better than ever, kids with joyful hearts and a love for their life, a church family pretty near perfect, a job that paid extremely well, and a deep and growing love for the place we lived.
But we left it. We put everything on hold. We left it all behind.
Why?
I ask myself that everyday.
We feel that God has called our family to "build a bridge" from the Treasure Coast to Haiti. So we moved. And even though this is home for me, it feels so far from it. I miss all of the comforts that I had come to know of living in one area for all of my adult life. I miss all of the places that the kids and I enjoyed, the beauty of the mountains, and the fresh air that reminded me of God. Most of all, I miss my friends. I had really come to rely on them in most every aspect of my daily life. We truly lived life together.
And now, I feel very alone.
Yet I know deep in my soul, that I am not.
Jesus is right here with me. He always has been. And now he is showing me just how much I depended on the incomplete joys of this world to find my satisfaction, and how little I depended on Him.
I am so hungry to be known and unconditionally loved. And Jesus gave me a glimpse of that love through the amazing people He put around me. Then He took it away to show me that it was all to point me to my complete joy in Him.
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6:35
When I seek Him and believe in Him, I will never be hungry again. What an amazing gift I was given to have people who were so Christlike in their love, that they almost looked like Him!
But now it is time for me to see that Jesus is even more beautiful than that. And the thought of that blows my mind.
So here is my littlest prayer: That God would awaken in me a spiritual hunger. My heart hungers for love, and I want to hunger for the only thing that I know will satisfy. Jesus.